Mischief, Incorporated: a Feline Company.

by | Mar 8, 2016 | Nedda's Animal Family | 2 comments

Melissa and Starlight in cuddle cup.

Introducing Mischief, Incorporated, a new company started by two “up and coming” young feline entrepreneurs, Melissa and Starlight.

Corporate Mission:

Assist humanity to “Lighten Up.”

 

Mischief Incorporated Services

Need a higher perspective on life? 

CEO – Melissa

Melissa will jump and/or climb to the highest spots in your house to check out the view.  She can easily leap 4 or more feet in any direction.  Melissa will get to tops of bookcases, top shelves only inches from ceilings, and the top of your refrigerator.

Melissa will find a way up to the highest spot you never in your wildest imagination thought a cat could reach.  She will expand your perspective on just how high a cat can jump.

As you wonder how she got there and how she’s going to get down, Melissa will leap to the ground without considering the landing space.  She trusts that her landing will be perfect, and if it isn’t, well, cats never do admit they’ve had a bad landing, right?  Never fear!  Melissa lands without ever getting hurt, even if what she landed upon is now spread out across the room.

Now don’t you wish your life was equally free of fear and limitation?

Something hiding in your dresser or desk drawers? 

Melissa will be in them before you can get them fully open.  She will crawl through all their contents until she’s satisfied that nothing and no one else is in there.  Whatever doesn’t belong will be dumped onto the floor where Starlight will turn it into a cat toy.

Closets or cabinets harboring spiders or moths? 

Melissa will instantly leap into any closet the minute the door is opened and will land on the highest possible shelf that’s at least 4 feet above the floor.  She will then climb as high as she can to check out all the recesses.

If you have clothing hanging therein, Melissa will climb them to make sure the rod holding the hangers is secure.

Never close a closet door without checking for Melissa, as she’s so fast you might miss that she’s inside.

Field mice sneak in for the winter? 

Starlight and Melissa will tag team the hunt, taking turns “on point” while the other secures the escape route.  Just make sure you get the mouse away from these entrepreneurs before it becomes a toy.  Meanwhile, there will be exciting sound effects, such as galloping, running, pouncing, and digging through anything the mouse hides in or under that you were careless enough to leave on the floor.

Vice President - Starlight

VP for Chaos

Being of oriental breeding (Siamese and Thai Tonkinese), you’ll also be treated to incredible feline sound effects as they express the joy of the hunt.

Concerned about the strength of your curtain rods, towel racks and other places where you hang things? 

Like a performer in the Cirque du Soleil, Melissa will show off her acrobatic tight-rope walking and balancing techniques.  She will climb to, leap upon, walk across, and hang from curtain rods, curtains, bathroom towels, towel racks, shower curtain racks, and laundry drying racks.  And while Melissa is up near your ceiling, she’ll be happy to find any spider webs that you missed while cleaning.

Starlight will sometimes act as “spotter,” but she knows to stay far enough away not to have Melissa land on her.

Spider webs in your basement? 

Starlight’s specialty!  She’ll eat them, including the insects that the spider caught and put up in it’s web-pantry.  Starlight claims this is excellent protein for a feline diet and you’ll never have to take the webs down yourself.

Old, cracked dishes you really want to get rid of, but just can’t get yourself to throw away? 

Just set them in a cabinet and leave the door unlatched.  With one powerful leap, Melissa will send them crashing. Then all you have to do is sweep up the mess!

Please make sure the girls don’t get any glass caught in their feet.  Their natural tendency is to explore the shards while you sweep up.  And don’t worry about missing some pieces of glass, as these two are bound to spot them for you at the most inconvenient moment.

Paper bags full of recycling or waiting to be shredded? 

Starlight and Melissa make the perfect team, strewing papers all over the place.  They will motivate you to get your act together and get the job done.  “Out with the old” is one of their mottoes.

Pillows need rearranging? Linens need changing? 

Melissa and Starlight will take care of it for you while romping and having a great time.  You’ll never feel that making a bed is boring ever again.

Of course, you might have to do a bit of follow-up, as they haven’t perfected getting the fitted sheets tucked in all the way and their hospital corners are not worth discussing.

Bookshelves overflowing?

If you’ve been postponing cleaning them up, Melissa and Starlight will be happy to motivate you by knocking down as much as they can reach, and by now you know that the entire bookcase, no matter how tall, is within their reach!

They will knock down statues, pictures, and anything else you’ve left lying on a shelf in the illusion that the item was in a “safe” zone.  There are no “safe” zones where these two mischief-makers are concerned.

Blu-Ray Player need warming?

You can count on the team from Mischief, Incorporated, to sit on it as soon as they hear the sound of the disk tray  opening.  They will arrive as if by magic, even from far recesses of the house, to make sure that the change of disks is done correctly and that the player warms up sufficiently.

Something stuck in your computer printer?

Starlight has no fear of sticking her paw in to help remove whatever is keeping your printer from working.  My old printer worked for two years without a spring that Starlight removed from it.  I had no idea where the spring belonged, so I could never put it back, but the printer kept going without a hitch.

While actively rearranging (demolishing?) your living space, the team of Starlight and Melissa work smoothly together.  They can make a quick getaway should someone come along who objects to the full expression of their playful talents.  They will run like mad and you’ll be hard-pressed to catch up with them, so be sure to get out of the way when they take off at warp speed or when you hear the sound of galloping coming your way.

These creative souls have no fear of vacuum cleaners or brooms or plastic bags.  Anything that rustles is fair game.  They bring new meaning to the goal of breaking down personal boundaries and attachment to material items.

Senior Advisory Board - Sakhara and Violet

Senior Advisory Board – Sakhara and Violet

If you’re interested in the services of Mischief, Incorporated, please contact the Senior Advisory Board.  Violet and Sakhara are looking forward to some peace and quiet while the two youngsters are taking your home apart – oops, I meant “checking your home out.”

p.s.  Please note the innocent expressions on all these faces.  From their perspective, they’re just doing the jobs they came to the Earth to do, namely, help humanity shift into higher consciousness.  And I ask you, what human doesn’t need a bit of chaos and fun to get into a higher perspective?  With a team like this, I’ll never be bored again!

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. Yvonne

    Love this light hearted essay on these 2 masters of disaster. Oops, I meant reorganization.

    Reply
  2. Doug Hagens

    I love them!!

    Reply

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