Kindness Begins With You Being Kind to You

by | Dec 16, 2008 | Heart Centered Living | 1 comment

One of the Heart Center’s most powerful emotions is Kindness.  It is also one least discussed.  Somehow we don’t think of Kindness as being very important or powerful, so it doesn’t receive much attention. 

Yet I believe that Kindness is very powerful. 

To be kind includes so many things:  being considerate of one’s feelings, being thoughtful of oneself and of others, treating someone gently, being helpful. 

Kindness seems a difficult word to define, and yet when we are treated kindly, we know it immediately.

So how kindly do you treat yourself? 

Do you forgive yourself when you make a mistake? 

OR . . .

Do you beat yourself up with verbal barrages that would be considered abusive if you aimed them at someone else?

Do you actually cause yourself physical harm by having accidents or by doing things that are unhealthy, such as smoking cigarettes or driving recklessly?

Do you surround yourself with other people who treat you badly as a way of punishing yourself for transgressions only you know about?  Perhaps you feel this is the best you deserve?

What do you really think and feel about yourself? 

Today you can resolve to be kinder . . . to yourself.  You can begin by monitoring the “mantras” you repeat to yourself – those thoughts that begin with “I am . . .” following by some negative thought or feeling.  Starting to identify these is just a first step.

Once you know what you keep telling yourself about yourself, you can take a second step.  You can change the message you are giving yourself.

I once heard myself saying, “I never have enough time.”  I said it over and over again as I raced along in my car to a job in Hartford.  Once I heard this message, I knew I had to change it.

The second step is to rewrite the message.  Stand it completely on its head.  Transform it into its opposite.  When I did this, “I always have enough time”  became my new thought.

How absurd that sounded at first.  “I always have enough time????? Am I crazy?”

Consider.  100 years from now what we do or don’t do today is not likely to make a big dent in the universe.  For the most part, it won’t be a matter of life or death.  For the most part, the biggest impact it may have is on how we feel at the end of the day.

The truth is that there is ALWAYS enough time.   The life of the Universe is uncounted billions and trillions and gazillions of years.  So is the life of each Soul, i.e., me and you. 

From that perspective,  I can CHOOSE to let go of feeling pressured to rush around and exhaust myself.  From that perspective, I can prioritize the list of things I have to do and decide that whatever gets done is ENOUGH.  And whatever does not get finished or even started was not meant to be done today!

More importantly, when I change my attitude towards time, my experience of time changes. 

Instead of rushing somewhere, I can decide that I will always arrive at precisely the right time for me to arrive.  That may or may not be the precise clock time I was told to arrive by, but it will be the perfect time for me to get where I am going.

Once I had this insight, everything about time changed for me.  I began trusting that “I have perfect timing” and  “I’m always in the right place at the right time.”  

When I sent these messages to myself, I took back control over time.  I no longer gave time control over me.  I learned that I always arrive at the perfect time, and not one moment sooner or later.

This is an act of kindness.  It reduced my stress levels.  It heightened my sense of being aligned with the universe and with my personal path.  I stepped out of a victim role and took back my power.

You can do it, too!

Nedda

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