A Bit About My Journey

My Dear Ones,

This is a portion of a letter I wrote to a friend this morning that I’ve decided to share with all of my community.  I hope it will resonate for each one of you personally in some way so you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE in these challenging and amazingly beautiful times.

I’m going to say some things that I hope won’t appear intrusive or of the “rescue” type psychological pattern – one I’m working to eliminate in my life.  I’m hoping what I’m about to tell you will be helpful.  I’m deeply hoping I won’t offend you in any way.  I see a lot of me reflected in you – in many others.  Here are some of the things I see that are my own reflection.

Please remember that I’m describing myself here.  If it resonates for you, too, then it does.   If it does not, it does not.

• A very hard working, “Type A” personality pattern – a pattern which leads easily to exhaustion.
• Someone who followed the old rules (working very hard and all well be ok) only to discover that those rules are a bunch of lies and no way to live.
• A being of the highest integrity fed up with a world that is direly lacking in it.
• Someone who cares and is compassionate towards others, but does not apply enough of that to herself.  (I’m learning, but . . . I’m learning)
• A perfectionist – allowing the desire for things to be “just so” to get in the way, at times, of allowing things to just “be” and not having to fix them – thus creating physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion – a very non-self-loving behavior.
• A Wyrd – someone who loves and is attracted to nature and can’t live any more in a world of disconnection from the essential Truth that we are 1 strand in the web and not outside it.  (The reason I say “can’t live” is that it’s just too damned uncomfortable to stay there anymore.  I just have no tolerance for cruelty.  I don’t watch TV.  Find most books boring or too “dark”.  Find most movies either boring or too violent and cruel and full of negative messages.)  I also can’t live in cities or condos or anywhere that feels oppressive, like people are too close and closing me in.
• Someone who worked herself into a state of exhaustion and physical illness (from which I nearly died in 1994) until I made a new choice.  My illness was my I AM telling me that if I didn’t make a new choice, I would die.  I chose life

Since 1994, I have been learning new ways to BE.  I have worked diligently on healing myself at all levels (still ongoing).  I was where some of you may be now – my own version of it.

I can see the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel these days.  I have a whole new way of looking at myself and the world.  I know there is an “end” to this drama and that it is coming.  I’m looking forward to it.

I’m offering to share with you some information that might assist you to break out of where you are into a whole new way of being in the world FOR YOU, loving yourself, and feeling empowered.

I look at each of you and

I see the Divine Spark that glows radiantly inside you.

Will you take the steps to

nurture, feed, and expand that glow?

Will you consciously choose to re-member your Self –

to put your spiritual awakening FIRST in your life?

I have learned that Loving myself and taking care of myself is the essential missing piece that will enable me to assist others.  If I don’t do that, there is nothing there for me to offer.

It’s time for all of us to go within and make the changes that will allow us to truly perform the services we came here to offer – AND – at the same time, experience the JOY and ENERGY of it all, and allow the UNIVERSE to TAKE CARE OF US and SUPPORT US.

This is the time that humanity is awakening from a slumber that has gone on for eons.  It’s about time, too!! (My personal opinion!!)

I know that my purpose on this planet in this particular life is to be at the near tip of the wave of Spiritual Awakening and to help others who are coming right behind me.

LORD GANESH - THE ELEPHANT GOD

My visual of this is that Lord Ganesh, the elephant God, moves ahead of me in the jungle of life helping to clear enormous obstacles that my small machete can’t easily tackle.  He’s there because I have asked for his assistance.  So he moves ahead of me and I see his large butt  helping to open a space and his small tail waving and encouraging me forward.

But I still have to “hack away” at the personal obstacles within myself that pop up in the jungle – my own inner reflections – part of the learning I set up for myself before I came into this life.  I clear them through prayer, through loving myself, through a conscious effort to heal them.

As I commit to taking back my personal power – my Divinity – everything shifts into higher frequencies, I am more and more supported, and more and more able to TRUST – in myself and in my Divinity.

Meanwhile, right behind me in this jungle come those who are attracted to my personal energy at the SOUL level and to the frequencies I have been able to integrate so far.  At the Soul level, they and I have agreed to be together on this journey, and while I hack away at my own personal stuff with one arm, my other arm reaches back to assist those immediately behind me.  (Please note that many of them are reaching one of their arms back to help those following behind them.)

Sometimes my way of assisting is to just model how to “do it.”

Sometimes it’s to listen.

Sometimes it’s to teach.

Sometimes it’s to create a healing space and facilitate another’s process.

Of course, they have to make a commitment to awaken and work on their ego stuff, too, because that’s what “the path” is all about, one way or another, generally speaking.  I can’t “fix” anything or anyone. (NOTE TO SELF:  Remember this, Nedda!)

So, my Dear Ones, I move into 2012 not really having a clue what I’m supposed to DO about anything, except BE HERE NOW – IN THIS MOMENT.

I will continue to share information that is inspiring, uplifting, and personally valuable to anyone who chooses awakening at this time.

Namaste,
Nedda