Cultivating Flexibility.

by | May 19, 2013 | Age of Ascension | 5 comments

The Only Fact of Life Is Change.

Whenever something new happens, do you go into anxiety or panic?

Sometimes that happens to me, especially lately.  Everything on the Earth seems to be in a state of flux and old habits cause us to anticipate the worst possible scenarios.

We have an illusion that if things didn’t change or didn’t change so fast or didn’t change very much, all would be well.  Notice I said “illusion.”

We make judgments.  One type of change is “good” and other type is “bad.”

How do we know the outcome of change until we create it?

We create the outcome of an event

by how we perceive the event.

So if we think and feel and believe that the outcome will be “bad,” we energize that outcome.  On the other hand, if we can stop ourselves from falling into the groove of old, negative thinking, we can create a positive outcome no matter what the experience.

Sometimes, that’s hard to remember.

Scientists have discovered that our neural pathways work in a particular way.  When we do something for the first time, such as thinking a particular set of thoughts or experiencing a particular set of feelings and thoughts, that is a new pathway.

Creating a new pathway is like trail blazing.  You’re working your way through a forest where there is no trail at all. There are some open places to walk, if you’re lucky, but the trail is also full of old stumps, downed trees and branches to climb over or go around, brush and vines to cut through, streams to ford.  It can be challenging to keep going forward and it can be even more challenging to choose to follow that new pathway again and again.

In your brain, that new pathway is weak and not easily repeated at first.

In contrast, pathways that you’ve been down many times before are open and cleared, like a road big enough for a car or truck to pass through.  Maybe some of your pathways are like superhighways – you can go down them at faster speeds and like any habit, you tend to go to the old pathways first usually without even considering options.

The problem is that when we follow a thought/emotional pathway over and over again, we eventually create a rut – a deep groove in our thinking and emotional patterns, a neural pathway that we fall into instantly when something unexpected happens.  Over the years, some of those ruts may have become very deep.  Some of them may even feel like a Grand Canyon in our minds.

Because of our 3-D conditioning, we’ve created lots of deep pathways that immediately take us into fear, anxiety, depression, self-deprecation, and other negative thoughts about ourselves and our lives.  We may feel stuck and that it’s impossible to get out or change how we feel and think.

Actually, we might not even realize we’re in the old pattern – on the old, well worn roadway – until we’re well into it once again.  Then we may look up at the Grand Canyon sized walls of our rut and feel overwhelmed  because you cannot leap up to the top of the walls of the Grand Canyon in a single bound.

To cultivate flexibility means to

create a habit of flexibility. 

To cultivate flexibility mean to

choose how to react to a new situation.

When something happens, like a car breaking down or losing your job or receiving a medical diagnosis or hearing of a death of a friend, we have choices to make.  We don’t have to fall into the old ruts inside of ourselves.

To stop the old patterns takes dedication and effort. 

First and foremost, it takes Consciousness.

The first step to begin changing a pattern requires that you recognize it when you’re already into it.  Later on, with practice, you’ll be able to recognize it sooner and ultimately, you’ll avoid getting into it at all.  But let’s assume that you’re at the very beginning of this process.

  1. Perhaps the first thing you notice is that “funny old familiar feeling” of fear or anxiety or depression or jealousy or whatever.
  2. You may suddenly realize, “Oh dear, there I go again, assuming a negative outcome.”
  3. Then you decide, “I don’t want to feel this way any more.”  This may be difficult, because you’re already “in the groove” and it seems more comfortable and easier to stay there than to start the process of getting out.
  4. Start the process of change by making a list on paper of what you’re feeling right now, when you’re into the old pattern.
  5. Write down your thought patterns, too, no matter how negative.
  6. Then you can choose, “What do I want to feel?”  Write it down, even if it seems impossible at that moment to even imagine you could actually feel that way.
  7. Then rewrite the thought patterns, on paper.   Write down positive thoughts about the ultimate result and how you’ll feel when it manifests.
  8. Choose the outcome you’d like to have, even if you don’t, in that moment, expect it to happen or even believe that it’s possible.
  9. Once you’ve done this, you’re ready to make a commitment to yourself to change the old pattern.  Sometimes it takes help from someone else to begin to break out of this old way of being, especially if you’re deep into the bottom of the canyon and can’t see a way out at the time you decide to get started.
  10. Ask Source, Higher Guidance, your I Am Presence, your personal angels and guides to co-create, MANIFEST your desired outcome.
  11. Ask Source, Higher Guidance, your I Am Presence, your personal angels and guides to give you signals daily that you’re fully supported on this new pathway and that your newly chosen outcome is being created.
  12. Turn it all over to Source.  LET GO OF IT.  Expect and allow the new outcome to manifest.

Whenever you find yourself falling back into the old groove, go back to your notes, focus on the outcome you are choosing, and make the requests again to Source, Higher Guidance, your I Am Presence, your personal angels and guides.

Cultivating flexibility is a SKILL.

You LEARN the skill through PRACTICE.

You create new neural pathways as you practice.

One day, something will happen, and you’ll immediately focus on receiving the perfect outcome.  You’ll instantly ask for help to co-create it.  You’ll begin seeing signs that the outcome you’ve chosen is on the way.  And so it goes!


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  1. Marsha Novicki

    Nedda….You are a wise person! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Again, another post that came along at precisely the right time!

    • Nedda

      Hi, Marsha,

      I appreciate your opinion of me, but I must say that I need to work as hard at this as anyone else. I just share what’s going on for me and hope that it helps someone else.

    • Michele

      Yes, thank you! This did come at the right time for me also. I started teaching a new class yesterday and each time I do something like this I’m excited leading up to it but then have an anxious “let-down” afterward. This helped me to see the pattern that happens so I can work consciously at changing it. Namaste.

  2. Coralie Nellhard

    Thank you Nedda, a very sensible approach. Sometimes I wonder why it is so easy to fall back into old thinking patterns, instead of cultivating new ways to see and accept changes. I agree that flexability is indeed a skill that needs daily practice. (for me anyway!)

    • Nedda


      It’s very easy to fall into the old “ruts” because biologically we’re set up to do just that. This is one reason why people who are depressed find it so difficult to get out of depression. Same for folks who have chronic anxiety. There are physiological aspects, but that doesn’t mean we’re helpless. We just need to remind ourselves on a regular basis and create new habits. Not easy, but definitely possible.


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